Last day of summer

It’s officially the last day of summer. I’m still waiting for Summer to happen! Apart from four exceptionally hot days last month, it hasn’t been a bit like our normal sweltering Brisbane Summers. I’m sitting here in a light jacket and lambskin slippers. It’s hard to believe it’s February.

Yesterday morning, I was delighting in the gusty breeze and kind grey sky as I hung out the washing. Buddy was rolling around my feet, giving my legs little lovebites (that cat has never grown up) when my neighbour looked over the fence and said “Isn’t it a horrible day!”

Some people must expect sunshine all the time!

But it has been horrible for some. I didn’t realise until later, that the fresh breeze I was enjoying was from a cyclone that had flattened Cairns. And there have been dreadful floods in other places.

Hallelujah

I trimmed back the Brazillian Cherry tree just before dusk the other night. Some invisible little insects must have bitten me, because I had little itchy lumps on my arms the next day – the same as the lumps Ingrid has been getting on her ears. So now I know what is wrong with her ears! I hadn’t given the cats any flea treatment for a while, because, strangely they’ve had no fleas this summer.

The flea stuff should keep other insects at bay, too. I couldn’t remember the name of the stuff, but I’d seen the ad on TV. So I went to the vet’s and asked “What’s the stuff you put on the back of the cat’s necks and they jump up and say ‘Hallelujah’?”

The girl laughed and sold me a pack of “Advantage.” But Ingrid didn’t say “Hallelujah” when I put it on her. It sounded more like “Let me out of here!!”

Books and Babes

Frances had a Book Party last week. (something like a Tupperware party, only it was a demonstration of children’s books.) She had invited the Playgroup mothers, so there were 7 of 8 toddlers milling around the room, squabbling over toys and books, while the poor demonstrator tried to speak above their noise. I don’t know why she bothered. No one was listening.

Little Miles was the noisiest of all. After all, it was his house and he had all his friends as well as his grandmother and great grandmother to impress. He emptied out his plastic crate of toys, turned it upside down and danced on it. Then he turned it back the right way up and lay down in it with his legs hanging over the end. When he tried to get out, he found his head and bottom were wedged firmly against each end so he squealed, “Stuck! stuck! stuck!”

Frances just said “Go on. You can get out.” So he squirmed around till he managed to climb out. Then he clapped his hands and did it all over again.

When Miles was born, I said it would be too confusing to call me Grandma, since that’s what all the kids call Mum. Joel said, “You’ll have to be Grandma, because that’s what Nelson knows you as.” (Nelson is the dog.) But Miles has solved the problem. He calls me Meemar.

He is so much fun. I was in the backyard when Joel and Frances brought him to see me the other day. As Miles came in through the gate, I squatted down to give him a hug. He said “Meemar, Meemar!” and threw himself into my arms with such force, we both rolled over on the grass together. He squealed in delight, “More!” and did it again as soon as I got up.

Two years old (almost) is a wonderful age.

Someone at our Trivia Morning gave four as the answer. “Well,” she said, “there’s the right side, the left side, the near side and the far side.”

The correct answer, of course was two – the inside and the outside.

I asked another group once, “On which side of the cup is the handle?”

When the correct answer, “the outside” was given, someone asked, “But what if you’re left handed?”

It was a really good morning. The money we raise this month will go to our new World Vision Project “The Safe Motherhood Project” in Ethiopia. The project aims to reduce deaths and injuries in childbirth.

This morning I took my cuppa back to bed with me for a nice leisurely lie-in. I hate getting up in the morning, but I love being awake early enough to enjoy sleeping in.

Just got comfortable with a good book, when I heard a car pull up out the front, so I checked it out with the hand mirror I keep by the bed for that purpose. If I hold it up at arm’s length, I can see out of the window without having to sit up. Did I hear you mutter the word, “lazy”? I assure you I’m just showing consideration for the cat sprawled across my chest.

Yes, the car was definitely in front of my house and someone was coming in. I scrambled out quickly, scattering books and cats across the floor and went to welcome my early visitor.

My friend had called in on her way home from church to tell me she couldn’t come to our World Vision Trivia morning tomorrow and had brought something for our “Bring and Buy” stall. It was a heavy gold chain necklace. Very pretty, but not the sort I would ever wear. I couldn’t resist trying it on, though, after she left. It looked quite nice. I slid it around my neck, admired it, then tried to take it off.

That’s when the trouble started. The clasp was one of about 60 identical links – and I didn’t know which one! The necklace fitted snugly so I couldn’t see the links below my chin. It took me all morning to get out of it.

When I finally broke free from my noose, it was time to get ready for our church “Home Group” picnic. It was a beautiful day. The picnic area was crowded, but by the time all of our group arrived, the largest shelter shed with two tables had become vacant.

I really enjoy conversations, when the whole group participates, rather than breaking up into little sub-groups as most gatherings do. We spent a delightful afternoon, discussing some rather profound as well as some frivolous topics inspired by questions from “The Ungame.”

A doctor I used to attend had a sign in his waiting room that read “February has been cancelled due to lack of interest.”

I was tempted to borrow it as an excuse for not updating my newsletter. Then I decided not to give any explanation or excuse – better to leave an air of mystery. The thing is, I’m back!

Speaking of doctors – recently I complained to a friend that the last time I visited a certain doctor, he didn’t seem a bit interested in my problems. My friend phoned me the other day and told me “I just went past the Medical Centre and Dr B’s car was in the driveway, so I gave his back tyre a kick for you.”

Now that’s true friendship!

Cool Summer

This must be the coolest summer we have ever had. It seems so strange to be wearing a cardigan in February. We are usually sweltering at this time of year.

Heatwave

We did have a short heatwave for four days last month, when the temperature climbed to 40 degrees and we really felt it after the cool day weather we had been enjoying. January 20 was the only day I found really unbearable. The air was totally still and everything we touched radiated heat. I tried to lie down after lunch, but the bed felt like a stovetop. During that day and the next, 14 people in Brisbane – mostly elderly – died from problems caused by the heat.

One of them was my friend, Barbara.

Barbara

I don’t know really if the heat had anything to do with it. She had been very sick with the flu and passed away suddenly while her husband was out shopping.

Barbara had been a member of our World Vision Club for 20 years. We were all shocked and saddened to lose her.Her Memorial Service was the most beautiful and inspiring service I have ever attended, with its clear message that death is not the end.

Barbara touched a lot of lives. A lot of people spoke at the service and painted such a loving and clear picture of her.

I felt I couldn’t get up and speak, but I would have loved to tell what a wonderful friend she had been to all of us in our World Vision Club and how much fun she brought to our gatherings. She was always wholehearted in everything she took part in. I particularly remember her at our funny ‘Dress up” mornings – like the day she arrived wearing one boot and a balaclava. And when we had to dress up to represent a room in our house, Barbara came wearing every kitchen utensil imaginable.

Then there was the day she came to our “Bad Taste Party” in an odd mismatch of clothes. I laughed and said, “You really look funny, Barbara.” She looked surprised. “But I haven’t changed into my costume yet,” she said.

She had a wonderful sense of humour and a spirit of adventure. I can’t remember ever hearing her complain although she must have been in constant pain with her many disabilities.

Back to routine

Everything winds down here over the Christmas break. The kids have six weeks off school and most organisations go into recess. Now everything has started up again.

My little nephew, Robert started school this year. He loves it. His cousin Callum is 6 months younger and still has another year of kindy.

My weeks are becoming busy again with various meetings and activities. You’ll hear more about them soon.

Speech No. 5 in the Toastmasters “Speaking to Inform” Manual

Presented February, 2000

Time 10 to 12 minutes.

When All your Christmases Come at Once

Do you realise…. It’s only 313 days till Christmas? I’m just warning you because Christmas has been coming earlier each year and catches most of us unprepared.It wasn’t always like that, was it? Remember when we were kids – it took a whole year from one Christmas to the next. It seemed to take forever!

But now – We just get over one Christmas and the next one begins to loom.

Why do the years of our childhood seem to stretch out and remain vivid in our memory?

And why, when we are older, do the years rush by and blur together?

And more importantly – how can we slow down the passage of years and make the most of them?

We all know that “Time flies when you are having fun.” A 10-minute coffee break seems much shorter than a 10-minute wait for the bus.

An hour of absorbing entertainment doesn’t take long but a boring lecture can make an hour seem like an eternity.

I remember waiting with my mother once in the Outpatients Department of the hospital. The morning dragged on endlessly. A woman wandered in, weighed herself on the scales by the door, and then left. A little later, the same woman reappeared, stepped onto the scales and weighed herself again. My mother turned to me in astonishment and whispered “We haven’t been here that long. Have we?”

Passive activities appear to take longer than those requiring active participation. For instance time passes faster for the student taking notes than for one who passively listens.

Geoffrey Godbey, professor of leisure studies at Pennsylvania State University notes that “you can beat time by being unaware of it.” Psychologists call this unawareness of time “flow” Godbey describes flow as “situations in which people have focussed their field of concentration and totally given themselves to an activity”

Not surprisingly, these activities are usually things people love to do. Such as playing sport, watching a good movie – or attending a Toastmasters meeting.

Our level of motivation can influence our awareness of time passing. The more motivated we are to a task, the less time it appears to take. Lack of motivation tends to interrupt attention to our task. The more we notice change during an interval, the longer we judge it to be.

You’ve probably had the experience of travelling somewhere you have never been before. The unfamiliar scenery and the anticipation of your arrival seem to make the trip last a long time. But the return trip over the same route seems to take far less time.

Psychologists have noted that larger units of time – such as months or years appear to pass more rapidly as we age. One theory why it occurs has to do with simple mathematics: a year to a 5-yr-old is 20% of her lifetime, whereas to someone who’s 50, it’s a mere 2%. Thus a year seems much longer to a child than to an adult.

Another reason why the days of our youth are so full and long is that these are the days of learning and discovery. We remember these times much as we would recall a time spent in interesting travel with a multitude of new experiences.

But as we grow older, some of these experiences become automatic routine which we hardly take note of. The days and weeks slip by like identical beads on a string.

According to John Wearden, a psychologist at the University of Manchester, “What the brain is probably reacting to are differences in the energy of stimulus, rather than the duration.”

In other words, the more our brain is stimulated by an event, the more likely we are to remember that it happened. If we can’t remember anything happening in a given time period, it’s as though that time never existed. Something like when we are asleep – our brains are not recording any new memories, and the hours we spend in sleep seem no more than a few minutes.

Our memory of how many events that occurred in a given time period determines how long we judge that period to be. Psychological studies show that our memories tend to shrink empty minutes, hours and days while magnifying action-packed ones. In other words, time might seem to drag when we’re bored, but our memories record just the opposite impression.

Wearden believes this helps to explain why landmark events such as Christmas seem to come round faster each year. “As you get older”, he says, “things seem more routine-so you find yourself thinking ‘It’s only event 17 500 of the year and yet already it’s Christmas. Normally, I should be on event 25 000 by now.’”

In Joseph Heller’s novel, “Catch 22″ Dunbar wanted to live longer, so he chose to do the things that he hated, knowing that this would make the time pass slowly.

This might have might made his days seem long and tedious, but in retrospect, his memory probably would have turned them into a meaningless blur and he would feel as though he had hardly lived.

There has to be a better way to slow down the passage of time.

In the movie “A Thousand Clowns” character Murray Burns says, “You gotta own your own days, and name them, or else the years go by and none of them belong to you.”

If each day is the same as the one before, it’s hard to even remember what day of the week it is. The days all blur together and looking back over the years, there is nothing to trigger any memories in the brain. If we couldn’t remember anything, it would be as though we had never lived.

The way to claim the days as your own and add them to your memory bank is to embrace each moment and become totally involved in it. If your mind is fully active and totally immersed in the present, your memory is far more likely to preserve the moment.

Try to make each day as individual as your fingerprints. Structure and routine makes time slip by unnoticed, so find ways to break the routine of your day. Try taking a different route to work occasionally. Walk around your neighbour hood. It will enlarge the picture of it that you hold in your mind. Meet new people.

Writing about your experiences is another way to make them really belong to you. Keeping a diary is an excellent way of keeping the days separate. Your mind is more receptive when stimulated by a new challenge. Look for new experiences and challenges every day. Learning need not end with our schooldays. Take a course in something you are interested in. Read about stimulating subjects, but don’t let it end there – discuss your ideas with friends. Ideas and conversations add to your store of life memories just as much as exciting experiences.

Read voraciously. Experience fully. Ask questions. Absorb, interact, reflect. Savour each moment.

You will find that time really does fly when you are having fun, but when Christmas comes around again, you will look back and say, “What a wonderful long eventful year!”

The first part of this speech doesn’t flow as logically as the latter part, and I felt restricted because I needed to use notes. However, everyone seemed to find the topic interesting and quite a few Toastmasters commented later, “So that’s why…….”