Mamalade

Everyone was in a silly mood at Friendship Club last week. We’re just a small group that meets each month for morning tea and a bit of fun. Some are quite elderly and hard of hearing.

Our hostess went into graphic details about her sinuses while we were eating cake. She had found a remedy…

“…. boiled water, salt and bicarb soda,” she told us, “You sniff it up your nose…”

“Not while I’m eating cake!”

“Any lemons in it?” asked someone.

“No.”

“Lemons are good for colds…”

“But not for putting up your nose!”

“Have another piece of cake?”

“I shouldn’t - my clothes are getting tight.”

“I can’t imagine myself in tights.”

“Oooh, I just did! My brain nearly blew a fuse!”

Our hostess’s son came in and was introduced to the group. He shook hands with each one.

“… and this is Harry…”

Harry (he’s nearly ninety) put down the sticky cake he was eating and carefully licked each finger before offering his hand.

I had been going to pass around my latest photos for everyone to look at, but after looking at Harry’s fingers, I left the photos in my handbag.

“What game are we playing today?”

“Harry’s left his hearing aid at home. It’ll have to be Skipbo again.”

We all enjoy playing Skipbo, anyway. We had two packs of Skipbo cards, so we divided into two groups.

My group got off to a good start, but no one in the other group could shuffle cards. Each time they got a set of twelve cards, they handed them to me to shuffle. That worked satisfactory - until I absentmindedly picked up some of our group’s cards and shuffled them all in together! We had to count all the cards and sort them out again!

I also went to our Toastmaster’s Change-Over Dinner last week. That’s when the new executive members are inducted. Our sister club over the bridge hosted it this year and they put on a really good “do”. The evening had an “Outback” theme, so nearly everyone wore checked shirts and jeans, etc. They had a Stock-whip cracking display and Line Dancing. During the evening we were asked Australian Trivia questions. Our table and another one tied with the most correct answers - but the only reason we did so well was because the one German at our table knew his Australian history! He put us all to shame.

Speaking of trivia… I just heard this on the radio - if you sing all the verses of “Onward Christian Soldiers” while boiling an egg, the egg will be cooked perfectly!

We really had to rack our brains this week to come up with a costume for our World Vision “Once Upon a Time” morning. One of my friends couldn’t think of anything.

“You could go as one of the ugly step sisters,” I suggested. “That would be easy.”

Oh dear, me and my big mouth! I hope she realised I didn’t mean it personally. I was just thinking how easy it would be to fine an ugly outfit at our jumble sale.

“Or you could be Red Riding Hood’s grandmother,” I said. “Just wear a nightie and a cap.”

“I’d have to get a grey wig,” she said.

I looked at her grey hair and wondered what colour she thinks it is!

Not everyone dressed up, but it was a fun morning. I was Dick Whittington, with a cat under my arm. Mum was Queen of Hearts. We also had the Pied Piper, Red Riding Hood’s Grandmother, Tinkerbell, the Fairy Godmother, Dracula and the Sleeping Beauty.

When the Pied Piper, trailing a string of “rats” left the room to go to the toilet, someone said, “I hope she doesn’t drop the rats in the toilet!”

We told fairy tales and played Celebrity Heads, using characters from fairy tales.

And they enjoyed this story of “Rindercella” that I read from the book, “Fun & Games for Family Gatherings” by Adrienne Anderson.

Rindercella
Well, here us a story that will make your cresh fleep - it’ll give you poose gimples! Just think of a poor little glip of a sirl, prery vetty, who, just because she had two sisty uglers, had to flop the moor, clinkel the shovers out of the stitchen kove, and do all the other chasty nores while her somely histers went to a drancy bess fall. Now wasn’t that a shirty dame!
Well, to make a long shory stort, this youngless hapster was chooing her dores one day, when who should suddenly appear but her gairy fodmother. Beeling fery vadly for the wetty praif, she happed her clands, said a couple of wagic merds, and in a flash, Rindercella was transformed into a bravaging reauty.

And in the courtyard stood a magnificant colden goach, made of a pipe yellow rumpkin. The gairy fodmother bid her bimb acloard and dive to the drance but she must positively be mid by homenight. So Cellarinda bimbed acloard, and off they went in a doud of clust.

Not long after, they came to the casterful wondle where a prandsome hince was posting a harty for the teople of the pown. As Rindercella lighted from the coach, she hanked her droperchief. And the prandsome hince, who had been peeking from a widden hindow, ran out, picked it up, and the sisty uglers stood bilently sy, not cinderizing Recognella in her goyal rarments.

Well, to make a long story shill storter, the nince went absolutely pruts over the provely lincess. And, after several dours of hancing, he was hazier than crever. But at the moke of stridnight, Panderella suddenly cinicked. As she went stairing down the race, she flicked off one of the slass glippers she was wearing. But, of all the uck, the prandsome hince had forgotten to ask the nincess her prame! So the next day he tied all over trown to find a lainty dady whose foot sitted the flipper. And the only lady with the fit that footed was none other than our lading leady. So she minally prarried the fince, and they happed livily after everward. And the storal of the mory is, Girls, whenever you’re looking for a husband, be sure you know where to slop your dripper!

We ended up discussing how not everyone lives “Happily ever after.” So many young girls in developing countries are married into a life of slavery while they are still children. But the projects we are working to support in our World Vision club are helping many of them to find alternatives.

Mum and Dad caught the virus too, of course. But I think everyone is getting better now.

The other day, Miles announced that he was going to be sick. He wasn’t sick, but Frances kept him home from Kindergarten, just in case. Later, he told her he had just been playing a trick on her.

“Well, you missed going to Kindy!” said Frances.

Miles’ face fell. He hadn’t realised it was his Kindy day. He loves going to Kindy!

I don’t know why little kids have to get sick with these dreadful viruses. It went through the entire family, of course. Miles had a bad cough, which turned into asthma and a middle ear infection. Then Joel and Frances both went down with it. I’ve been spending quite a lot of time at their place, helping with the little ones, so it was inevitable that I’d get it! And so did baby Hayley.

Hayley’s wheeze was a lot worse yesterday. I could hear her rapid breathing when Frances phoned me. “I’ll come over,” I said.

“The doctor said if her wheezing got any worse, to take her straight to the hospital,” said Frances.

It was definitely worse. Frances packed her bag while I held Hayley. She’s such a sweet baby. Her eyes kept closing as she lay in my arms, then when I thought she’d almost nodded off to sleep, she would look up and give me a beautiful smile.

It had been raining heavily all morning. The sun came out after Frances left with Hayley, so I coaxed Miles away from the TV.

“You can go outside, I’ll just watch another video,” he said.

“There’s puddles…” I coaxed.

That was different. He put on his big rubber boots and sloshed around happily while I hung out some washing.

Frances still hadn’t returned by nightfall. I gathered up Mile’s pajamas and a change of clothes, just in case.

“We might go round to my place and feed the pussies,” I told Miles. “We could have our dinner there.”

“Let’s go now!”

Right on cue, the heavens opened and rain bucketed down.

“We’ll have to wait till the rain stops,” I said.

“No, I’ll run fast.”

“You’d get wet,” I told him.

“I’ll get my raincoat.”

“We’ll wait a while.”

Finally, the rain stopped for a moment. “Let’s go,” cried Miles. “I’ll open the gate so you can get your car out!”

“But my car’s not in the yard…wait!”

Miles ran down the driveway while I fumbled with the back door key.

“Meemar, it’s raining again!”

“Come here, you’ll get wet!”

“I opened the gate for you!”

“But my car is outside the gate … and so is the darn dog, now! Here Nelson!”

Nelson ensured that a tree was wet enough, before running back into the yard. Miles and I were only slightly damp. I used my hairdryer to dry us both off when we arrived at my place.

Miles was happily playing with my computer when Joel came much later to pick him up. Frances was back home with Hayley. She’d had an awful long wait at the hospital and Hayley had had some tests, but was allowed to come home.

Hayley was a little bit better today, but will probably take a while to get well again.

It’s still raining. And my nose is running.