Mamalade

Joel’s friend Mark was married last week. Joel and Mark have been friends since their schooldays. Mark often used to sleep over at our place.

One day, when they were about twelve or thirteen, Joel & Mark were looking out the window, when a red sports car pulled up across the street, and a tall shapely blonde in a low cut blouse got out. Both boys stared in amazed admiration.

“Wow!” breathed Joel.

“Just look at that car!” said Mark.

Well, Mark has finally found someone more exciting than a car and Joel was best man at the wedding.

Of course, that meant that I had 5 year-old Miles and 18 months-old Hayley to mind while Joel and Frances were at the wedding. I’ve minded them plenty of times, but this was the first time I’ve had them both here for a whole day.

Phew!

Oh yes, Nelson the Corgi came too. I had closed the kitchen door so that Hayley wouldn’t fall down the steps into the laundry. Unfortunately, just before she left, Frances opened the door without realising that Nelson was lying on the top step, (It opens outwards) and the poor dog rolled all the way down the stairs. Just as well he’s well padded. He soon recovered his dignity and lapped up the extra attention he received.

Miles and Hayley came out onto the patio to wave goodbye to their parents. Joel ran back inside to get something he had left on the table. We were all distracted for a split second …and Hayley tumbled down the front steps! It took three jelly snakes to settle her down, while Joel put icepacks on the lump on her forehead. She finally recovered enough to stand at the screen door and wave “Bye bye Mummy, bye bye Daddy” for about 10 minutes after they’d gone. Then she returned to the kitchen and sampled the food in the cat’s dish.

The day hadn’t started too well. I wrote Joel’s mobile phone number in big numbers and placed it in a prominent place on the table - just in case.

“That’s Daddy’s phone number in case we need him,” I told Miles.

“Nelson’s on the footpath,” said Miles.

Somehow Nelson had got out of the back yard. I took Hayley with me while I coaxed Nelson past the cats and back into the yard.

Back inside, there were panicked cries from the bathroom. Miles had turned the lock on the door and couldn’t get out. He was very distressed when I opened the door.

“I’m going to ring Daddy and tell him I was locked in the bathroom,” he sobbed.

That’s the last thing Joel would need!

“No, don’t bother Daddy now,” I said. “We’ll tell him later.”

“Well, I’ll ring Mummy!”

“They’ll be on their way to the wedding,” I said. “Hayley! Get out of the kitty litter!”

I washed Hayley’s hands and distracted her with the helium filled balloons Joel had brought for them. She loved them, and stood on tiptoe to reach the string tied to them. I found a big ball of Christmas tie ribbon and cut off some lengths to extend the strings on the balloons so she could reach them. It kept her happy for some time, then she decided to investigate the contents of my kitchen cupboards.

“She gets into more things than you ever did,” I told Miles, as I moved her away from my gadget drawer. Miles rummaged in the drawer. (The first time he’s ever done it. Little sister is a bad example.) He pulled out my rotary egg-beater, and went off with it to play some imaginary game.

A little while later there were delighted chuckles. “Look, Meemar, It’s like a fishing line!” The end of the big ball of Christmas tie had caught up in the beaters. As Miles turned the handle, the egg-beater was becoming more and more entangled in the ribbon.

We got through lunch without a mishap.

“Don’t close the door,” said Miles nervously, when we went into the bathroom to get the baked beans out of Hayley’s hair.

There was a commotion outside the front door. Nelson had escaped out of the yard again and bailed up the cats on the patio. I found the gap under the side gate and blocked it.

Miles watched a video while I tried to get Hayley to have a sleep. But Hayley had other ideas. Anyway, no one could sleep with the shrill barking in the back yard. I took Hayley out with me and scolded Nelson. He was barking at my cat Ingrid, who calmly sat in the garden bed and refused to move.

Ingrid used the most unladylike language as I removed her from her comfortable spot in the garden bed. Hayley emptied the cat’s dish of water over her shoes.

jungle

Nelson ran through the garden bed after the cat. Hayley followed him and howled when her clothes caught on the shrubs.Hayley didn’t have a nap all day, so she almost fell asleep in her plate at dinner-time. She enjoyed her bath until Miles squirted her in the face with the hand shower. As soon as I dried her, she ran into the lounge room and wet on the mat. At least we know she didn’t do it in the bath! Once she was dressed, she tried to climb back in the bath with Miles.

Nelson barked and woke Hayley each time she was almost asleep, but finally she settled down. Miles and I did some jigsaw puzzles and read stories until he was sleepy too. Peace at last!

“Yes, they were good,” I told Joel and Frances when they returned from the wedding. “But I don’t know how I coped bringing up two kids!”