Mamalade

Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the things we collect for our jumble sales. I spent a whole week sorting the carload I picked up from a woman who is moving house. I was in the middle of it all one morning when I received a phone call.

There was a bit of static on the line, but I heard a voice say, “This is Sue…”

Its ages since I’d heard from Sue, although she lives only a few blocks away. “I’ve got 5 bags of clothes for your jumble,” she said. “Do you want to come and pick them up or will I bring them to you?”

It was the last thing I needed just then, but it would be nice to catch up with Sue. “I don’t mind,” I said. “Would you like to come round and we’ll have a cuppa?”

I set out 2 cups and took a cake from the freezer. I was surprised when a different car pulled into my driveway. It was Terri, the woman who had given me all the stuff the previous week. Her car was packed with big bags.

“It’s mostly clothes this time,” she said as we dragged the big bags into my overcrowded shed.

“My friend Sue is bringing some soon, too,” I told her. We chatted for a few minutes. She was a friendly woman and interesting to talk to. I would have liked to invite her in for a cuppa, but I was expecting Sue to come at any moment, and Sue would be looking forward to a heart to heart talk.

So I said goodbye to Terri and thanked her for bringing the stuff all the way from her place. (2 suburbs away.)

Sue still hadn’t arrived at midday. I postponed my lunch for nearly an hour, so we could have it together when Sue arrived. But she still didn’t come. I stayed home all afternoon, but Sue didn’t turn up.

The next day, I arrived home from shopping and discovered that while I was out someone had been and left more stuff in my shed.

I phoned Sue. She sounded very surprised and pleased to hear my voice. “Hello!” she said. “Long time, no see!”

“Did you leave some jumble in my shed while I was out?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “I brought you all our stuff ages ago.”

“Didn’t you ring me on Monday?” I was beginning to feel confused.

“No,” she said.

“Oooh…I’ve done something terrible!”

Suddenly it was all clear. It was Terri who had phoned me on Monday. I had asked her to bring her stuff all the way to my place, promised to give her morning tea, and then sent her away without any!

I rang Terri, explained what had happened and apologised. What I still can’t understand is, why I thought she said “This is Sue.” Maybe she had said “How are you.” And why didn’t I realise it wasn’t Sue’s voice? They don’t sound a bit like one another!

“I might still have more for you before I move,” Terri said. “If I do, I’ll bring it over and we’ll have that cuppa.”

So far she hasn’t been back. I made some more cake, just in case. Somehow I managed to let go of the electric hand beaters while they were still spinning and had to wipe down the kitchen walls and benchtops – and after I had talked to my neighbour over the fence, I realised I had cake mix in my hair…. but that’s another story!

My sister Lea came over the next day. When I told her about my mistaking Terri for Sue, she thought it was terribly funny. I also told her about the Real Estate agent who had asked if I wanted to sell my house.

I said, “ I told him, when I leave my house it will be in a box!”

“You’ll be in the funny farm by then!” said Lea.

Our World Vision Club began the month with a two-day Jumble Sale to try and get rid of all our winter stock. When Mum and I arrived on the first day of the sale, all the “wheelie” garbage bins were lined up on the footpath outside the hall, making parking difficult.

“Oh no,” said Mum. “I didn’t put my bin out!”

“I’ll go back and do it as soon as we unload,” I said.

“They’ve probably been emptied by now.”

We debated for a few minutes whether it was it worthwhile going back. Then I realised… “Hey, I didn’t put mine out either!”

It seemed strange that we had both forgotten, then the penny dropped. “It’s Thursday!” I said. We are used to seeing the bins out on Friday, and the caretaker of the hall had put them out a day early.

That was a relief!

“I can park beside the bins after all,” I said. “The garbage truck won’t come till tomorrow.”

“Yes, but how do I get out?” There was no room to open the car door aginst the bins.

I backed the car and parked over a grate. “Don’t get your foot caught in the grate,” I warned as I helped Mum out. She was holding a large bag of grapefruit she had brought to sell.

It was just like a scene from “Mother and Son.” Three grapefruit toppled out of the top of the bag and rolled down the grate!

“Its going to one of those days,” I said.

“All we need now is the umbrella lady.” (One of our more eccentric customers.)

“Good morning, ladies,” said a voice behind us. Yes, it was the tall scarecrow woman weilding a huge umbrella….

We didn’t have as many customers as usual. August is usually a bit slack. It’s the end of winter and most have people have already bought all the winter clothes they want. But a lot of people brought us more stuff! We spent the two days sorting and pricing and when we packed it all away on the second day, we had more than we started with!

“We’ll have to have a clearance sale next time,” I said. “All winter clothes $4 a bag!.”

I was glad we had plenty of helpers to pack up at our jumble sale, because I had to go out that night. Our Toastmasters Club celebrated its 30th Anniversary. One of the charter members is still a member of our club. We presented him with a plaque and Life Membership. It was a wonderful night. The theme of the evening was “Pearls and Lace.” Even a couple of the men got into the spirit and wore pearls.

The next event was our World Vision Club’s Trivia morning. They are always fun and we learn lots of useless trivia. Did you know that Mr Ed the talking horse was not really a horse? Check it out. http://www.snopes.com/lost/mistered.asp

Our Toastmasters Table Topics and Humorous Speech contests were on that night. Phew! What a night! I had to be early. Its my job now to unlock the hall and disarm the security alarm. I had nightmares about it when I was first given the key. I had received such dire warnings about huge fines for setting off the alarm and getting the security guards out!

When I arrived, there was a new guest waiting at the door. I was busy chatting to her as I unlocked the door, then I remembered that once the door was unlocked, I had one minute to get to the other side of the room and disarm the alarm. I had only done it once before - 2 meetings ago. I had intended to study the instructions again, but with my mind on my speech and on our guest it slipped my mind.

I knew the first word on the instruction sheet was “Enter.” I couldn’t find “Enter” on the keypad, so I pressed “OK.” The message on the screen said, “Incorrect. Try again.” I rushed back to the door where I had left my bag to get the instructions. Next thing the alarm started wailing! I expected to hear police sirens any minute.

Luckily someone else arrived at that moment and said, “Just punch in our pin number. ” I did, and the alarm stopped. Later, I found that the instructions said, “Enter pin number.”

As we went through the next door, I dropped all my papers on the floor. One of my Toastmaster friends said, “You’ll be all right. Just turn around 3 times anti-clockwise and start again.” She grabbed hold of me and spun me around 3 times. My head was still spinning when I opened the meeting, which might explain why I introduced the Contest Chairman before the programme changes and the loyal toast.

Anyway, they liked my speech and I won the Humorous Speech contest! I’ll put it on my website after I’ve competed at the Area Conference in October.

On Sunday, I played the word game “Panic” with 6-year-old Miles. I picked up a card and asked Miles, “Name three sea foods.”

He said, “Clams, fish….and chips!”