One day, film star Art Carney was waiting at the airport, when one of his fans approached him   and exclaimed, “You’re Art Carney!”

“I know,” said Carney. “Somebody has to be.”

How right he was! Out of all the people in the world, he was the only one qualified to fill the role of Art Carney.

Do you realise, the only one who can fill your role in life is YOU! Because there is no one else quite like you.

What if everyone was the same as you?

What if people were mass produced, using the same mold. What kind of world would it be? Isn’t it strange – when we see a set of identical twins or triplets, we find it hard not to stare in wonder, and yet, the real wonder is, that we are all so different!

No one else – not even members of your immediate family has the same combination of genes, the circumstances, the experiences, that help to make up you.

You have your own individual personality traits, your own set of memories, your own thoughts. You are so special, you have been stamped with your own unique fingerprints.

I believe that is is no accident that you are  here at this time, in this place on earth and that whatever you do  in your lifetime will have an effect of some kind on the future. Everybody has their own sphere of influence.

I once read a story about time travel – where people could go back in time, but they couldn’t touch anything, because whatever they did, even if it was just to step on a blade of grass and crush it, the future would be influenced in some way. Isn’t it awesome, to think that you could be helping to shape eternity!

So.. if you have been placed here on earth as your own unique self, then the most important thing you can do with your life is to be yourself.

And anyway, as Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.”

So many people want to be someone else. They are not content with their own self  image. They aim to impress others by trying to appear more important, more successful, more beautiful than they really are.

Remember the TV series “Keeping Up Appearances?” Hyacinth Bucket – or Boo-kay, as she preferred to be called, was always trying to impress others. I knew a woman who was like that. She was never herself, and she was never happy. She had never got over her disappointment at not being born into the royal family.

A lot of people think they are a failure unless they excel at whatever they do. We can’t all come first in the race. We can’t all be Prime Minister – if that role is not for us.

Its a relief to know that some roles are not for you. The other night, a fire engine rushed past my house and I thought, “Thank goodness, I don’t have to drive a fire engine. I don’t like making right hand turns!” The driver of that speeding fire truck  was probably well suited for the job, but I’m glad its not my role in life.

Did you see the movie, “Babe?” Babe was a pig who could round up sheep and won first prize at the sheep dog trials. Everyone I knew thought it was a wonderful movie. I guess it was, but I always felt it taught the wrong values. What’s wrong with a pig being a pig? That’s what he was created for. My mother said I read too much into the story, but really, if pigs act as sheep dogs, who is going to be a pig?

It’s OK for a pig to be a pig. And it’s OK for you to be YOU – as long as its the best that you can be.

Now, don’t get me wrong! I believe, as I’m sure that you do, that we should all have goals and strive to fulfill them. Most of us are capable of far more than we have ever dreamed.

As a child at school, I used to dream of winning at sports. I was the smallest in my class. I was always the last one to be picked on a team. I always came last in a race. Other kids won awards.

Then one break-up day, competitors were called for to run in the final race for the year. This was my last chance! Everyone laughed as I lined up beside Sally, the champion of the school. The starting pistol was fired and we were off!  I ran as I had never run before. The crowd roared as I reached the finish line and was awarded – second prize. There were just the two of us in the race. Sally had finished way ahead of me – but I was still a winner. I had performed at my utmost.

Its in moments when you are giving your all that you are your real self. If you go through life trying to find yourself, you never will, because the more you think about it, the less natural you will be.

Whatever you attempt to do, do it with all your heart. Lose yourself as you follow your goal. Always aim for the highest and best – don’t worry if somebody else is better, just do the best You can. You’ll never win the race if you are watching the other runners.

Think of all the really great people in history. Winston Churchill, Ghandi, Mother Theresa… Did they perform great feats because they were searching for themselves? No way! What they each had in common was a total dedication to whatever cause they believed in. They followed their inner conviction and took no heed of any else’s opinion.

But of course, you don’t have to be a Ghandi or Mother Theresa.

Rabbi Zusya said that on the day of judgement, he would not be asked, “Why were you not Moses?” but rather, “Why were you not Zusya?”

I’ll finish with a quote from Dan Zadra…

“There has never been another you. With no effort on your part you were born to be something  special and set apart. What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make.”

This speech won third place at the Area Conference Humorous Speech Competition. October, 2006
Time: 5 to 7 minutes

Kids! They do stupid things, don’t they? The other night I was watching my three-year-old grandson brush his teeth. Suddenly he picked up the plug out of the sink and studied the water that had accumulated in it. Then, before I could stop him, he drank the water out of the plug!

“Yuk!!” I said, “You don’t drink out of plugs!”

He looked at me and said firmly, “You do when you are three!”
Now, that kid taught me a valuable lesson. Behaviour that would be unacceptable in an adult is perfectly normal in a three-year-old, because that is the stage where they are at the time.

It made me think of some of the stages his father went through. His father, of course, is my son – Joel.

Joel was a perfect baby. I mean “perfect” in the sense that he behaved in the way you would expect a baby to behave.

I would sit him in his high chair and try to spoon food into his mouth – “Here comes the aeroplane”…… but more often it went in his ear, or his hair, or it would be snatched from me and hurled against the wall.

As I said, perfect behaviour – for a baby!

By the time he was 3, he could feed himself, but mealtimes were rather messy. One day after lunch, Joel said, “I knew I shouldn’t have had syrup. Now my legs are stuck together!”

When he was 5, he started to run headfirst into the walls. When asked why, he said, “I asked God to make me into a ghost so I could walk through walls!”

He was 8 when he played cricket in our driveway, using our rubbish bin as a wicket. Our rubbish was spread the full length of the street the day I back the car over the bin.

10 year-olds don’t usually like carol singing, so I should have been suspicious when Joel and his friends wanted to attend “Carols by Candlelight” in the park. I soon found out why. I had to stop them from competing to see who could hold a burning song sheet the longest. The climax of the evening came when our rug caught on fire. Nearby carolers helped to beat out the flames and we made a hasty retreat.

Then there was the Sunday School concert! The soloist was a big woman, with a Queen Victoria figure. 12 year-old Joel was at the back of the hall with his mates. I didn’t know he had a balloon in his pocket! He blew up the balloon and let it go. The audience watched open-mouthed as it squealed its way round the hall till it ran out of air. Then it dive bombed straight down the cleavage of the hapless soloist.

She was not amused.

Teenage years are a time of uncertainty. Joel was with me one day when I parked the car at the shopping centre. “Don’t get out yet!” he said urgently. He slid off the seat and crouched down under the dashboard. “There’s a girl from our school coming!” he whispered frantically.

The girl strolled along the footpath toward our car. She had a mystified look on her face as she passed. She must have seen Joel in the car as she approached, and now he had vanished! Joel waited until the coast was clear before emerging from hiding place. He looked wistfully at the retreating girl and muttered, “I should have said ‘Hello’!”

Perfectly normal behaviour – for a teenager!

Today, Joel is a responsible adult. He is still growing in wisdom, but he eats fairly neatly, behaves at concerts, and he doesn’t drink out of plugs.

Like Joel, we are all still developing.

You may not have reached your full potential, and sometimes you might do stupid things. That’s OK. It’s perfect for the stage where you are. You have changed a lot since you were three.

But …. if you are still drinking out of plugs, stop it at once!

It’s disgusting!

Tonight we are going to look at the most important skill you can learn in Toastmasters. With this skill, you can win friends and influence people, get along with your co-workers and have them do what you want them to. This skill is Evaluation.

What is evaluation?

Immediate feedback. Encouragement. Helpful advice.It used to be called “Critique”. Constructive criticism. The dictionary definition of evaluation is, “Ascertaining the value of.” “Appraising carefully.” I like to think of it as “Digging for diamonds.”

How does evaluation help the speaker? Evaluation provides immediate feedback. It reinforces the speaker’s strengths and offers ways to improve. It builds and maintains self esteem. It motivates the speaker to return and give another speech – an even better speech.
How does evaluation help us?

Evaluation improves our listening skills. It provides an opportunity for impromptu speaking. Evaluation is one of life’s most important skills, when you use the basic rule of presenting an evaluation, that is, praise, say what you want done, then praise again. This is the best way to get people to do what you want them to. You can successfully raise you children using this method. You can even train your dog! (”Here boy, SIT!” “Good dog!”)
How does Evaluation help our club?

Evaluation sets the standard for the club. It shows that the Toastmasters programme is working. Without effective evaluations, you don’t have a quality club.
What is a quality evaluation? To be effective, an evaluation should motivate the speaker to improve. If you just try to make him feel good by telling him his speech is wonderful when it isn’t, then you are just wasting everyone’s time and dragging down the standards of the organisation.
What should we do before we evaluate a speech?

An evaluator needs to prepare. Talk to the speaker. Show that you are interested.
Contact the speaker in advance and discuss the manual objectives and the evaluation guidelines.
Ask about any concerns regarding the speech or the speakers abilities.
Get to know the speaker. Observe their earlier speeches. Look at previous evaluators comments in their manual and note whether the speaker has worked on their suggestions for improvement.
Consider the objectives in the manual. Find out what the speaker is aiming for. And don’t expect him to run before he can crawl. For instance, I’ve heard evaluators of the first 2 or 3 speeches suggest that the speaker could have used more gestures. Now, that is the objective for the 4^th speech and I don’t think it is fair to bring it up when evaluating an earlier speech. Of course, if he is already attempting gestures, he should be praised for his efforts, but it shouldn’t be expected of him at this stage.
Presenting the evaluation.
Tonight, I’m concentrating mainly on how to present the evaluation. There’s not time to discuss all the points you could look for.
So how do we go about delivering an evaluation?

An evaluation is a three minute mini-spech. It needs an opening, a body and a conclusion.

Can you suggest a good opening?

Acknowledge the speaker. “This evening we had the privilege of listening to an interesting and informative speech by….” What other ways could you describe the speech? (Challenging, thought proving, humorous, inspiring, etc)

There’s your opening. Now for the body.

You want to reinforce the strong points of the speech.

Say what you liked about the speech and tell why. You could say, “I liked the way he used body language, for example, when he said this, he did this!”

Think of one or two more things to commend.

Next we come to points for improvement. Limit it to no more than two. We don’t want to overwhelm the speaker – and we do want him to come back!

Don’t say, “You did that wrong!” You are not issuing a judgement on behalf of the club, you are just telling what effect the speech had on you personally.

Personalise your language

Use phrases such as, “It seemed to me…”

“ I feel that…”

“ I believe…”

Instead of saying, “He spoke too fast, you might say something like, “If he had slowed his rate of speaking, I would have found it easier to take in the excellent points he was making.”

We usually use the third person rather than address the speaker directly. It brings in the whole audience and takes some of the pressure off the speaker.

Now for the conclusion.

How can you close in a way that will make the speaker want to start preparing his next speech when he goes home?

Summarise what you have already said.

Comment on what you think are his strongest points and congratulate the speaker on his effort.

Evaluation teaches us to think of the other person. To ask ourselves, “What advice can I give that will help him to do better?

Remember the diamond cutter. Just as the diamond grinder hones and polishes the diamond, you are honing and polishing a speaker. Slowly, gently, little by little, evaluation will bring out the potential and brilliance of our members.

Big Brother – or Sister

Don’t you just love it when someone asks you about something you know! People often ask me questions, but I don’t always know the answers. Questions like- “Have you seen my car keys?” “What did you just come in the room to get? ” Where were you last Monday?”

But I love it if they ask me about Toastmasters! And I felt thrilled and honoured recently when a new member asked me to be her mentor.

What is a mentor?

A MENTOR SERVES AS A ROLE MODEL, COACH, AND CONFIDANTE, OFFERING KNOWLEDGE, INSIGHT, PERSPECTIVE OR WISDOM USEFUL TO THE MENTEE.

You’ll realise of course, that when my mentee chose me, she hadn’t seen me trying to chair a meeting!

But there is a lot I can help her with. It’s like being a big sister.

Have you noticed if you have more than one child in your family, the younger ones seem to pick up things at an earlier age than the first one did? That’s because they have the older one as a role model. My three younger sisters learned much more quickly than I did, but they wouldn’t have advanced nearly as far without me! Of course, my parents didn’t always approve of the things I taught them!

Well, in Toastmasters, a mentor is like a big brother or sister to the newer members.

We all know how daunting it can be; joining a club like Toastmasters, and watching the more experienced members perform their roles with confidence and skill. We think we will never be able to do that!

But I can help my mentee…

LEARN THE PROGRAMME. Explain the speech requirements in the basic manual. What is expected when she is assigned certain roles at the meetings.

LEARN CLUB STANDARDS AND CUSTOMS. How things are done in Toastmasters.

DEVELOP CONFIDENCE. Explain to her that she is among understanding friends – that we are all learning at our own individual level. Help her to realise that Toastmasters is a safe friendly environment to practice her communication skills. Give her the knowledge she needs which will enable her to

PARTICIPATE MORE. Encourage her to become involved in Club activities so that she will receive optimum benefit.

Help her to QUICKLY LEARN SPEAKING SKILLS. By offering encouragement and assistance if required as she prepares her first speaking assignments. By pointing out her strong points and offering constructive feedback when required.

Of course, my mentee is not the only one who will benefit from the relationship.

I discovered years ago, that the best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else. While I am explaining things to my mentee,

I will be REFINING THE SKILLS I ALREADY HAVE. and LEARNING NEW SKILLS.

And there are other rewards.

MENTORS…

LEARN FROM THEIR MENTEES. Mentees often offer new information and perspectives.

REMAIN PRODUCTIVE. Mentors continue to make use of their own knowledge and skills.

DO SOMETHING FOR OTHERS. Its an opportunity to give back some of the benefits we have reaped from Toastmasters

RECEIVE RECOGNITION. Earn the respect of fellow members, and gratitude of the mentee. I know my mentee is grateful. When I helped her with her speech, she brought me a chocolate bar.

The club as a whole benefits. Clubs that encourage members to mentor one another;

HAVE MORE MEMBERS. Turnover is reduced because members quickly become involved in the club and develop friendships.

HAVE MORE SATISFIED MEMBERS. Members continue to learn and grow and enjoy the club experience.

RETAIN MORE MEMBERS. When members are satisfied, they stay in their clubs longer.

A Mentor needs special qualities. You have to be

AVAILABLE. There’s no point in offering to become a Mentor if you are too busy to spend some time talking to your mentee and answering any questions they might have. And don’t assume that your mentee doesn’t need help if she doesn’t contact you. Many new toastmasters are too shy to ask.

You need PATIENCE, remembering that everyone advances at their own rate. And be prepared to explain things over again if necessary.

Be SENSITIVE to their needs. Use tact in encouraging and motivating. Never betray their confidences.

RESPECTFUL. You might not always agree with your mentees point of view, but you can respect your differences.

FLEXIBLE. Your mentee may not accept your advice and choose to do things her own way. Or she may turn to another Toastmaster for advice. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think it’s even advisable if your skills are not strong in certain areas. For instance I would understand if my mentee asked another Toastmaster for advice when she is chairman.

BE SUPPORTIVE OF THE CLUB. Show pride in your club and what it can do for members. It goes without saying that a mentor would never speak disparagingly of the club or fellow members.

You need to have KNOWLEDGE about your club and the Toastmasters programme. Or at least know where to find out the necessary information. But for goodness sake don’t try to impart all your information at once. My son does that when I ask him about the computer – and I feel more confused than ever!

You must be CONFIDENT yourself if you are to instill confidence in your mentee. Keep a positive outlook, but don’t be afraid to let your mentee see that you have weaknesses too. We are all human!

You must be PREPARED TO LISTEN. Acting as a sounding board is sometimes all the help required. A friend once came to me with a problem. After a while, she exclaimed, “That’s it! I knew you would be able to help me!” I hadn’t said a thing, but putting her problem into words had helped her to see things clearly.

SHOW CONCERN for your mentee. You must really care and want to help your mentee to grow.

Of course, if a mentor/ mentee relationship is to be successful, mentees have responsibilities and obligations as well.

Mentees should be…

EAGER TO LEARN. Mentees must be willing to take on new challenges.

RECEPTIVE. Mentees must be open to feedback, viewing it as an opportunity to improve themselves.

OPEN TO NEW IDEAS. Mentees should be able to see things from other perspectives.

LOYAL. Mentees do not violate confidences or trust.

GRATEFUL. They don’t have to bring chocolate, but Mentees appreciate the help their mentors are giving.

Usually, by the time mentees have developed to the point where they are functioning effectively on their own, the relationship has changed from that of mentor/mentee into a strong warm friendship. Mentors can find new mentees to help and former mentees now have the skills to become mentors themselves.

And don’t think mentors are just for new members! There are bound to be members in our club who excel in some skill that you are lacking. Why not ask them for advice? As I said at the beginning, people love to talk about what they know. Or is there someone who could benefit from your knowledge and experience? Then pass it on. That’s what Toastmasters is all about, isn’t it?

The Speech Only You Can Give

“I’ve got no idea what to talk about!”

Have you ever heard someone say that? Or said it yourself? I have.

No idea…

Can you believe it?

Look around. This room alone is full of potential speech topics. There could be one right in your hand.

Take a look at your hand. What does it make you think of? Let your imagination run free.

You might like to write the word “hand” on the back of your programme and do a bit of word association.

How about caring hands, doing things by hand – the old way, hand-me-downs… Can you think of another one?

Do any of those thoughts trigger an idea for a speech? And that’s just the beginning. You can do the same exercise with any object, sound, smell etc.

See? The problem is not a lack of ideas. You know what the problem is?

It’s too many ideas! Too many voices in your head, clamouring, “Choose me, choose me!” While another, louder voice over-rides each one and says, “Naah, that won’t work!”

The challenge is to choose one topic from all those ideas. A topic that you know you can run with and turn it into a great speech.

A great speech is the speech that only you can give.

Think of your first Toastmasters speech. The Icebreaker. This is the speech where you tell us what you want us to know about you. Out of a whole universe of possible topics, you have to zoom in and focus on what you are most familiar with. Yourself. And it works, because it’s the speech that only youcan give. You become personally involved in your topic and the more personal involvement, interest and enthusiasm you can bring to your speech, the more likely your audience will respond in a positive way.

But you don’t have time to tell everything in an Icebreaker Speech. How could you possibly fit all there is to know about you in 4 to 6 minutes! So you still have lots of material for more great speeches!

You might have briefly mentioned your family. But we still haven’t heard about your family customs, your views on child rearing, or your last family trip to Lumbago.

Maybe you mentioned your job, but didn’t have time to tell what your job entails, and how you feel about it.

Your ice-breaker may have included some of your interests. If you’re keen on sports, you could tell us about the great game you won, or if you’re like me you could tell how you opted for safer activities after being hit in the eye with a cricket ball.

You could talk about your passion for music, collecting toenail clippings, or your current campaign against nose pickers.

Any of these would make a great speech, because you are personally involved in the topic. It’s the speech that only you can give. No one else can tell it from your viewpoint.

And it’s the viewpoint that turns your topic into a do-able speech. It’s a bit like taking a photo. When I showed my friends a photo I had taken of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, they said, “I’ve never seen the bridge from that angle before.” I had stood and snapped the photo from a place they hadn’t thought of. And that made it more interesting.

It’s the same with a speech. Take it from your perspective. No one else has seen it from where you stand.

Like a camera, your speech should only cover what you see in the view- finder. I remember the day my third grade teacher took us all outside to draw a landscape. But first, he got us to each make a little cardboard frame to look through. We were told to hold up the frame and to draw only what we could see within it. Narrow the focus. If something is happening on a global scale, zoom in on one person and tell how it affects them.

There are so many angles to every topic. Don’t serve the whole pie at once. Cut off one slice. And save the rest for another time. Tonight I could have talked on “How to Become a Better Speaker” but that subject is too broad. So I’ve focussed on the small slice of “Selecting a Topic.” There are still plenty of other slices in the pie.

To narrow the focus, ask yourself, what is the purpose of this speech. What is the central theme, the thought that I want my audience to remember? See if you can define your purpose in one sentence.

Let’s see, suppose you are going to speak about …sailing!
So you write…
The purpose of this speech is to persuade, inform or entertain (choose one) my target audience with the thought that (never “about”)… sailing is fun. Or sailing is not for the seasick.

Once you have decided on the thrust of your message, you know what kind of information and anecdotes you’ll need to put the point across to your audience.

Make sure your topic is appropriate for your audience and the occasion. Most of our speeches are presented in a Toastmasters Club setting, which gives us plenty of scope with a sympathetic audience. But if you’re speaking to the local football club a speech on needlework mightn’t go down too well. And a group of teenagers mightn’t be enthused about retirement plans.

But a lot of topics can be adapted to fit the occasion. Let’s suppose you have a passion for a particular subject – how can you make it meet the objectives for your next speech?

For instance, I like cats, as most of you know. I haven’t used that topic for all my speeches, but it would be possible.

For my Icebreaker speech, I could have described myself from my cat’s viewpoint. For my second speech where I had to speak in earnest, I could have spoken against cruelty to cats. An informative speech could be about cats in history and a persuasive speech could be on the advantages of owning a cat and so on.

I’ve heard of some people doing a second CTM, by speaking on a different facet of Toastmasters for each speech.

The ideas are endless. And they’ll come to you when you are least expecting them. Sometimes a table topic will trigger an idea. One of my speeches evolved from a table topic that I didn’t answer very well at the time, but I thought about it after I went home and the idea grew. An idea might develop from your reaction to a news item or something in a book you are reading.

Don’t let the ideas just evaporate. Keep a notebook to jot down ideas and any relevant facts or anecdotes. Then when it is time to give that speech, choose the topic that you know that you can run with. Tell it from your point of view. It will be a great speech, because it will be the speech that only you can give.

The Main Thing

Don’t worry about delivery and platform techniques. Just remember,
The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing!

When you are presenting a speech, what is the main thing? What is it that you’ve carefully wrapped up in words and are presenting to your audience?

It’s the message! The reason you are speaking to these people is because you have something you want them to know!

So what does this have to do with delivery and platform techniques?
Everything!

If you are concentrating on the main thing- the reason you are going to speak, you will have purpose in your bearing as you walk to the lectern.

1. Approach the lectern confidently.

Have you ever watched someone appraoch you with an important message on their lips? Your neighbour on his way over to tell you your kids just hit a ball through his window. Your friend comes to tell of her daughter’s new baby. Do they approach diffidently wondering what you think of them? No! Their thoughts are totally taken up with the main thing – the message they have to impart!
Approach the lectern confidently. You have a message. That’s the main thing!

2. Speak clearly

There’s someone at the back of the room who needs to hear your message. Make sure he hears it. This is no time to act coy and worry about how your voice sounds.

What do you do when you look out your kitchen window and see your toddler escaping through your front gate?

You project your voice. “Johnny! You get back in here!” If the message is important enough, you have no trouble making it heard!

3. Speak from the heart

Last week Chris told us about finding a clock like her grandmother’s. Did you see the joy on her face and the pleasure in her voice? She was speaking from the heart, telling us about something that means a lot to her. And it showed in her face and in her voice, because she wanted us to know of the pleasure the clock gave her. That was the main thing. As you focus on your message, your voice will come alive. You will find yourself naturally using gestures and facial expressions to impart what you have to say.

4. Pause

“Guess what!”
I’m sure you’ve said that to your friends before telling some startling information. And what do you do to obtain the maximum effect?
You pause, look intently to see if they are on their edge of their seats, then drop your bombshell.

That’s how a pause is used in a speech.  You might say, “I’m going to tell you something that will change your life!”  Build up suspense. Get rapport with your audience.

5. Eye Contact

Look into their eyes. Command their attention! Communication is a 2 way thing, even when only one is speaking. Include them in it. Watch their expression for clues on when to proceed to the next point.

A good speaker makes his audience feel that she is talking directly to them in a normal conversation.

Forget about techniques.
You have a message.
You really want to let them know it.
That’s the main thing.

Speech No. 5 in the Toastmasters “Storytelling” Manual

Time 7 to 9 minutes.

Beware the Ides of March

Once, when I told someone my birthdate, They said, “Good grief! Don’t tell me that when Caesar was burned, they raised you!” For I was born on the Ides of March. The middle day of the month. It is the day that Julius Caesar was warned against 2000 years ago. He was celebrating his victory over his adversary Pompey, when a stranger pushed through the crowd, pointed at Caesar and warned, “Beware the Ides of March.” So what happened on the Ides of March? It is a tale of treachery and intrigue. Of false friends who would pat your back in front of your face, and slit your throat behind your back. Let me take you back in time …. Foreboding The year is 44 BC. The 15th day or the Ides of March is ushered in by a violent electrical storm. The superstitious citizens of Ancient Rome fear that the storm is an omen of impending doom. Julius Caesar, ruler and dictator of Rome, is preparing to leave for a Senate meeting, where it has been rumored he is likely to be proclaimed as king. His wife pleads with him, “You mustn’t leave the house today. I’ve had a dream. Something terrible is going to happen.” Caesar scoffs as he fastens his purple toga. “Don’t go,” begs his wife. “It’s the Ides of March. Remember, the soothsayer warned you, “Beware of the Ides of March.” “A lot of nonsense,” laughs Caesar, but he feels uneasy and calls on his priests to make a sacrifice to foretell his fate. When they examine the entrails of the sacrificed creature and find its heart is missing. This is very bad omen. “Call Antony,” orders Caesar. “Tell him to dismiss the Senate.” The Plot Meanwhile, a treacherous plot is afoot. Cassius, who has a history of jealous malicious acts, has spent the stormy night persuading Caesar’s friend Brutus to take part in an assassination plot. Brutus agrees that for the good of Rome, Caesar must not be allowed to rule. They send a messenger to ensure that Caesar goes ahead with the senate meeting. The messenger talks Caesar out of his fears. “What will your enemies say,” he asks, “if you postpone the senate until your wife has better dreams? You should at least appear and adjourn the Senate in person.” Caesar feels reassured until on the way to the Senate, he meets the soothsayer – the very one who had warned him, “Beware the Ides of March.” As he passes, Caesar calls in jest, “Well, the Ides of March are come.” “Yes, they are come,” says the soothsayer, “but they are not past.” At the Senate The Senate is held in the theatre of Pompey. As he crosses the marble courtyard, Caesar glances at the imposing statue of Pompey. He and Pompey had ruled Rome together, until Caesar defeated Pompey and caused his death. The Senate rises to show respect for Caesar. His most trusted senators – those, who have taken oaths to protect him with their lives, stand around the chair where he is seated. The folds of their robes conceal the daggers they grasp in their hands. Someone comes forward with a petition. Caesar impatiently waves him away, but the man boldly approaches, takes hold of Caesar’s shoulder, and rips his robe away from his neck. “This is violence!” shouts Caesar. The Attack Another man slips behind Caesar and with a sweep of his dagger, stabs him just below the throat. “What does this mean?” shouts Caesar. He grasps the blade in both hands. Another dagger pierces his breast. He is enclosed on every side. – whichever way he turns he sees daggers levelled at his face, his eyes, his throat. Blood splatters the frescoed walls. Even his attackers are wounded as they all lunge at him with their daggers. Caesar resists and fights with all his might. He calls for help and dodges to avoid the blows. Then he sees Brutus – his old friend – with dagger drawn and a look of evil intent in his eyes. “You too, Brutus?” cries Caesar. He covers his face with his robe and falls into the spreading pool of blood at the foot of Pompey’s statue. Chaos Brutus turns in triumph to address the Senate, but the crowd has fled in panic. Throughout the city, people are running. Some run away. Others run to see the spectacle then run back again to report the news. Shops are hastily closed and houses shut up. Caesar’s friends go into hiding. The entire city of Rome is in shock. The Funeral But when Caesar’s will is read out, it is found that a considerable legacy had been left to each Roman citizen. This galvanises the city into action. Caesar must be given a hero’s funeral. They heap together a pile of benches, bars, tables – whatever they can get hold of – They build a funeral pyre three stories high. They place the body of Caesar on top and set it on fire. Then the mob takes burning torches from the fire and burns the houses of the conspirators. Some run up and down the streets trying to find these men so they can tear them into pieces. But they are all in hiding. It is a tale of treachery and treason. It is also a tale of retribution. Later, after a defeat in battle, Cassius commits suicide with the same dagger he used to stab Caesar, and Brutus kills himself with his own sword after seeing Caesar’s ghost. “Beware the Ides of March.” The phrase is now used as a warning against impending calamity. But no one was warned when I came into the world.  

Speech No. 3 in the Toastmasters “Storytelling” Manual

Time 4 to 6 minutes.

Beware of Falling Brickbats

During the 16th century, a certain Dr. John Dee wrote in his diary, “Arthur wounded on his head by his own wanton throwing of a brick-bat upright, and not well avoyding the fall of it again.”Poor foolish Arthur! Some of us have to learn the hard way that brickbats have a tendency to come back on the thrower.

My first encounter with the law of falling brickbats was when was eight. I was holidaying with my two cousins in a house just off the beach at Scarness. It was a glorious week of sunburnt noses, dripping ice-blocks and sand flies. We swam and frolicked all day in our shirred elastic “bubble togs” that took three people to peel them off our sticky bodies. My Aunt insisted it was healthier to let the salt water dry on our skin.

In the evening we played on the swings in the park nearby, swinging higher and higher, lustily singing “How much is that Doggy in the Window” and “Sweet Vi-o-lets.” Later we huddled together in the big double bed with sand between the sheets and told ghost stories – each story more frightening than the last until I was afraid to sleep.

The stories didn’t bother my cousins. They were older than I was, and braver. They could swim further, swing higher, and run faster. I could never quite keep up to them.

Frustrated, I developed my own tactics to bring them down to my level. I tied their pyjamas in knots and short sheeted the bed. I put salt in their soft drink and shell grit in their shoes.

I was intent on more mischief as I hurried down the stairs one day, when I felt water splash down the back of my neck. For days I had felt little drops of water whenever I passed that spot. I couldn’t make out where it was coming from, since it hadn’t rained all week.

Surprised, I looked up, and there were my two cousins laughing down at me from the window above. One of them was holding a glass of water.

Enraged, I ran into the laundry. I grabbed my sand bucket, filled it with water and raced back to the stairs. There they were, still laughing and taunting me from the window above.

“Go on,’ they dared me. “Throw it!”

So that’s what I did. With all my might I threw that water up into the air in the direction of my teasing cousins.

I have never forgotten their delighted laughter. Nor have I forgotten my humiliation as the water splashed back down on my head. The incident has always remained vivid in my memory, but I didn’t realise its significance until I recently read about poor Arthur. Now I know that that was the day I learned some important truths, which have influenced my life.

I learned that “What we sow, we must also reap,” and “what goes up must come down,” and, particularly if it is a brick-bat or a pail of water, it is likely to fall back on the thrower’s head!

Speech No. 1 in the Toastmasters “Storytelling” Manual

Time 7 to 9 minutes.

Little Claus and Big Claus

This is an old Danish Folk Tale about two neighbours who both had the name Claus. Claus is a common name in Denmark, but it was the only thing these two neighbours had in common.

One was full of self-importance because he owned four horses. He was called Big Claus. The other was poor. He had just one horse, so he was called little Claus.

Big Claus was mean and greedy, and he had a vile temper. One day, he was so livid with rage that he picked up a mallet and hit Little Claus’ horse on the head. The poor horse rolled up its eyes and fell down, dead!

Little Claus was devastated. He sat down and wept. “Oh, my horse, my only horse! Now I have nothing left.”

But since there was nothing else to do, he set to and flayed the hide, Then he put it in a sack and set off to sell it in the market place.

It was a long way, and the winter sky grew dark before Little Claus reached the town. He was relieved to see light streaming through the shutters of a farmhouse.

“I’ll stop here,” he thought, ” and ask for shelter for the night.”

But the farmer’s wife was most inhospitable.

“You’ll have to go away,” she ordered. “My husband isn’t home and I can’t allow a stranger to come in.”

Little Claus turned sadly away, clutching the sack with his horsehide in it. As he passed the farmhouse kitchen, he could see inside, because the shutters didn’t close tightly. In the kitchen he saw an amazing sight.

The large table was covered with a white cloth and on it rested a huge platter of succulent roast and vegetables. Little Claus licked his lips as he leaned forward for a closer look.

Seated at the table was a man. Little Claus gasped as he recognised the wart on the man’s nose – it was the local Deacon! And there was the farmer’s wife, coyly tossing her golden curls as she poured wine for the drooling Deacon.

“Oh,” sighed Little Claus. “I wish I had been invited.”

But hark! In the distance came the sound of a horse galloping, galloping, galloping. It was the farmer returning home.

The Deacon turned pale and almost choked on a piece of roast.

“Quick, hide!” cried the farmer’s wife. She thrust him into a chest in the corner, where he crouched trembling. Then the wife snatched up all the delicious food and hid it in the oven, just as the farmer strode to the door.

As he wiped his boots on the mat, a rumbling sound made the farmer look around. It was little Claus. The sight of that wonderful food had made his stomach rumble.

The farmer invited him in, because he was a kind man, although he hated the Deacon.

The wife glared at Little Claus, but she greeted him politely enough and served them both with a large bowl of porridge. Little Claus was so disappointed. He kept thinking of that delicious food in the oven.

Under the table lay the sack with the horsehide in it. Little Claus rubbed his foot on it and the horsehide squeaked.

“Shhh!” said Little Claus.

“What have you got in the sack?” asked the farmer.

“Oh, it’s only a wizard.”said little Claus. “He was telling me there’s no need to eat porridge because he has just conjured up a roast dinner for us. Look in the oven.”

“What!” exclaimed the farmer. He opened the oven door and saw all he food. His wife silently served it to them, not daring to tell the truth!

Little Claus rubbed the sack again and made it squeak.

“What is he saying now?” asked the farmer.

“He says there are three bottles of wine behind the stove.”

The farmer’s wife poured wine for them and watched sullenly as they made many toasts and grew merrier by the minute. In fact, the farmer grew so merry, he slapped Little Claus on the back and offered him a whole bushel of money – his life’s savings – for the sack.

“Now I have a wizard in a sack,” he boasted, “I’m not afraid of anything, not even the devil himself! I’d just like to see the devil appear, now!”

“Well,” said Little Claus, “If you go to that corner and look in the chest, you’ll see the devil.”

The farmer wiped his brow and swallowed several Times before he moved slowly toward the chest and lifted the lid.

“Aaaaaah!” The farmer recoiled in terror as the Deacon sprang out of the chest and tore outside. Then with a loud bellow, the farmer grabbed his gun and ran after him.

Quickly Little Claus snatched up the bushel of money and ran all the way home.

When Big Claus saw all the money Little Claus had received for his horse’s hide, he went out and killed his own four horses. He took their hides to the market – but when he asked of a bushel of money for each one, the people laughed at him and chased him out of town.

But Little Claus bought ten fine horses and lived happily ever after.

I chose this story because there was plenty of action. I enjoyed presenting it.

Speech No. 5 in the Toastmasters Advanced Manual “The Entertaining Speaker” Manual

Date presented: October, 2005

Time 8 to 10 minutes.

Remembering 30 Years.

(The audience was asked to imagine they were members of the World Vision club and were attending a dinner to celebrate the club’s 30th anniversary.)30 years! We made it! Who would have guessed that our World Vision Club would continue this long! Certainly not the caretaker of the hall where we used to hold our meetings. Remember, he wouldn’t let us book the hall more than a month ahead, because he was so sure our club would fold up? Well, here we are, still going strong, and celebrating our 30th Anniversary!

Oh, we might have had a few hiccups to begin with – our very first meeting, for example, when only 2 of us turned up. Still, it would have been more successful if we had both turned up in the same place! Then there was another slight hitch when our vice president, secretary, and treasurer all resigned in the same month. But that wouldn’t have been a problem if our membership at the time had been more than four. But pretty soon, our club began to double in size. In no time at all the membership increased – to two! And soon there were four!

We began to hold more ambitious functions. Some of you might remember that first concert party when we booked a group of elderly entertainers. I’ll never forget the short sighted pianist in her huge floppy hat. She was never quite ready to accompany the performers. One singer walked onto the stage and called out, where’s my accompaniest?” A voice from back stage shouted, “She’s gone to the toilet. Start without her!” The poor soloist was halfway through her song when the pianist rushed onstage and tried to catch up on the piano.

Who remembers our Fun Fashion Show, where we modelled second hand clothes? I tried to promote it the week before at our jumble sale. I donned the most outrageous outfit I could find. Pink frilly skirt, fuzzy wig, huge sunglasses, chunky jewellery, green stockings, and football boots. I stood outside the door ready to hand out flyers to people passing by. Unfortunately everyone who saw me quickly crossed over to the other side of the street, until someone hauled me back inside. “You’re scaring away our customers!” they said.

The Fun Fashion Show itself was our most spectacular…… flop! We put on a really good show, but we out-numbered our audience, who sat like a row of stunned mullets. But they woke up when our model bride suddenly threw her bouqet into the audience. It was an enormous cauliflower.

Then there was the day the drought broke and our stall at the Carnival was washed out by torrential rain. One of our members sheepishly confessed she had been praying for rain. We told her sternly, “Next time you pray your rain, be more specific about the date!”

We’ve had plenty of successes, too. No one will forget the Children’s Concerts, when we invited school bands, choirs and dancing groupings to perform. The bigger the group the better, because that meant more parents who would buy a ticket to watch their little darlings perform. It really worked too, though after a few years, the parents got wise and just dropped their kids off at the door.

The Easter Bunny drives were popular. Our fridge was filled with marshmallow bunnies as the orders multiplied like – rabbits!

The Mock Wedding reception was an hilarious occasion. Guests were asked to wear something outlandish, and to bring a gift to be auctioned in aid of World Vision. I remember the startled looks I received when I stopped on the way to buy milk in my “Mother of the Bride” outfit.

Our club has always enjoyed dressing up. There was our “Mad Hatters Tea Party,” – remember, someone wore a chamber pot on her head, and another one sported a magnificent cardboard model of the Sydney Opera House. And what about our “Bad Taste Parties?” I laughed when someone arrived in baggy shorts, “Oh, you look funny!” I said. “That really is bad taste!” “Wait on!” She said indignantly, “But I haven’t got into my costume yet!”

Some of our activities have become an institution. The jumble sales, for instance. Remember the time almost 30 years ago, when our membership had dropped to one? The hall was already booked, for a meeting, and I figured, if I was going to be the only one there, I might as well make it worth while, so I took cleaned out my wardrobe and took along a box of clothes to sell to people passing by. That was the beginning of our jumble sales that have continued twice a month for the past 30 years.

We also work on the street! Our street stalls are almost as numerous as the jumble sales. Sometimes they span the footpath in front of 3 shops!

Trivia Mornings are a favourite. Sometimes the answers to the questions are debated, but always in fun. Like the time we were asked, on what side of a cup is the handle? The answer of course was, “The outside,” but some one queried, “But what if you are left handed?”

We always look forward to the Christmas Auction at the end of the year. Remember the time, the auctioneer declared, “Going, going, gone!” and brought the hammer down in the middle of the sponge cake she was auctioning! And the dear little 90 year old who bid for a tennis raquet. When asked what she wanted it for, she said, “To swat flies with, of course!”

We thought we were doing well, didn’t we, when we managed to raise $1000 by the end of our first year. Well, now we raise that much in a month! Our average is $14000 a year.

How encouraged and inspired we felt, when one of our members came back from visiting some of the World Vision overseas projects! She had witnessed the joy of Fistula patients in Ethiopia, after life changing surgery, the hope in the eyes of young girls in Thailand who were rescued from a life of prostition, the security of street children in Cambodia who were given food, shelter and education.

She was happy to report that our efforts really are making a difference in the lives of these people.

And we find that it makes a positive difference to our own lives. I am so grateful for my World Vision family. For each one of you here and for past members who are no longer with us, but who have enriched our lives.

Thank you all for sharing your hearts, your time and your talents. For your support and for your friendship. I am looking forward to making more wonderful memories as we continue with our vision of a better world.

It was actually our World Vision Club’s 28th Anniversary, but I thought 30 sounded better for the purpose of the speech.